How the successful think.
Success can seem enigmatic & mysterious, but it’s not some mystery to be solved. Although it can feel like this impossible journey when you’re plugging away and working hard, it’s clear that success comes from the quality of our thinking & how we choose to use our own mind.
When I was younger I believed that the most successful amongst us must have had some special trait. Something they were born with or in their DNA that marked them out as destined for great things.
Years later I discovered that successful people aren’t from any particular background or demographic. They’re from all over the place. Yes some have had more opportunities than others but the one thing they all have in common is how they manage their minds, how they think and behave on a daily basis.
In my previous career I was a professional actor. And I had great success for many years but as my mindset changed for the worse so did my success rate. Actors face a lot of rejection and my thinking began to change following several months of repeated rejections for jobs I really wanted. With every no, my confidence reduced. Even though I was still working and relatively successful, I wasn’t doing the work I wanted & each rejection made me question my abilities. I grew doubtful about my future and developed three limiting beliefs, that I now realise hold most people back from success.
1. I began to believe I didn’t know HOW to do certain things, 2. I didn’t have certain things I needed and 3. I wasn’t like other people who were successful.
My mind would tell me ’STOP, What’s the point? There are so many things you don’t know how to do. There are so many things you don’t have and you don’t have & You’re so unlike these other successful actors, you could never be like them so stop, what’s the point. And the more I reflected on these beliefs that were rapidly developing of not knowing, not having and not being, the less action I would take to actually improve things & the less success I experienced.
Particularly when exploring something new: most people say 3 things to themselves that become limiting beliefs and affect their levels of success – “I don’t know how to do that.” – “I don’t have those things.” And “I’m not like those people’. And so they STOP. And their dreams don’t materialise.
Many years later, I learned that what you choose to believe in those moments of imagining the future you want, is what determines your success. Because instead of stopping when they feel they don’t know something, Successful people say ‘It’s now important that I learn how to do that’ and they put it on their list as something to learn. They take their limitation and commit to figuring it out. When they think of something they don’t have, instead of stopping they say, ‘ok I’m going to create that’. How do I ensure that I do have – confidence, assertiveness, focus, self control, content for my website, a qualification etc.. And when they say to themselves Im not like those people, I’m different they see it as their job to become more like those people, to learn how to be like the people they admire and look up to. To become the person they want and need to be.
People stop because they become passive. They’re waiting for success to come to them. At some point in your life you need to give yourself permission to create your own success. Nobody else is going to bring success to you. Because it begins within. You can learn what you need to learn, You can create what it is you don’t currently have and you can start to become the person you need to be, right now.
So next time you reflect on an ambition you have for your future, when your mind says ‘yeah but I don’t know how’, commit to learning how, When your mind says ‘yeah but I don’t have that currently’, commit to creating it or find out how to get it or build it from nothing. When your mind says ‘Im not like that’ commit to becoming like that. Learn how to be more like the person you want to become.
Make it your job to achieve your ambitions. Commit to removing these limiting beliefs and you’ll be thinking like successful people think.